Friday, June 20, 2014

The Ink Will Rise

There is a feeling that comes when life is about to change.  It is deeper than a feeling really, more like a movement of your soul, and that comes first.  I believe that God starts the initial stirring of our souls.  Sometimes you can miss it, and then when reality of the change appears in your life you aren’t quite prepared, you are caught off guard, and the transition to understanding what is happening is a bit rough.  For 8 years I knew this movement of the soul very well.  It almost shocked me, how precise I could know what may happen next.  Since my life has settled, and life has become routine…I grew calloused, content, blind. 

And to quote a line from one of my favorite movies (Father of the Bride) “…when the storm broke”.  I was caught up in life and its many distractions.  I was content, but I did feel like something was missing.  A sort of questionable quiet longing for something that you feel pulled to, but you can’t see what or who is on the other side of the rope.  To tell you the truth, in my life this movement is rather wonderful.  It means that God is ready for a new step in your life, a new stage, a new adventure.  Change is something that I use to love.  Change was a person that I looked forward to greet, and I haven’t seen or heard from Change in quite a long while. 

I remember writing this 6 years ago (here) when life was so much different than my life is now… "I wonder what I am to do in life. What my meaning is. The truth is....I want to do nothing. I don't know if it's my laziness, or an actual calling of sort. Does everyone feel this way? I don't want a job. I'm not completely sure that I want a career. I want to do whatever I want... (Possibly a bit selfish, but with good intention). Which is to be meet new pray all be consumed with God's feel the wind rush around me and the rain wash my skin...and to look into your eyes and know.  Back to my current state of life. Alone. Poor. Clueless. Hopeful. Ready.”  I love that God made me passionate about writing down what emotions I have, because you never know when God will show you that they were always there for a reason.  My love for God explodes in this moment.  The love I have for Him overwhelms me when I begin to realize how truly Wise He is, how truly Perfect He is, how completely Sovereign He is.  I love this about Him.  I depend on Him, and I find pure peace and hope in result of it.

The ink will rise on the pages as we get to them, but as for now I look forward to greeting Change with a strong embrace.

Back to my current state of life.  Deeply Loved. Poor. Clueless. Hopeful. Ready.

“Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21

“The heart of man plans his ways, but the LORD establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Peace is mine.

Monday, January 13, 2014

For the Beauty of the Earth

There is such beauty in the unknown, there is such a pure silence in the moments that just come as they may.  I have lost sight of this adventurous beauty, and have replaced it with worry and anxiety that blinds.  With all New Year’s, of course we look to how we can become a better person than the previous.  We set goals, aspirations, tasks at hand…it’s in our culture, it’s in our minds, it’s part of being an American…even if you choose to set them or not.  Husband does not ‘partake’ in these resolutions, but I always at least though of what I may want to accomplish with the year that has been given.  I have been thinking on what would be a sufficient task for me to succeed in, I wrote down many…then I realized that none of them really had any impact on others around me…just myself.  I thought, “Having another year of outrageous selfishness…check!”  How sinful and deceiving our hearts can be.  I decided to continue to think on what would be a true help to my life, and also the lives of the people I share it with.  For a couple weeks I set before me to read my Bible every day and to journal every day.  That would have a huge impact on myself and others around me, then I realized that this is something that I SHOULD be doing every day, not a task I should set…it has to be a part of my daily life.  I prayed, “Dear Lord, help me be more aware of what needs to change in my mindset, heartpounds, and soul’s longings.”  Then the fog lifted and I saw a clear aspiration…to just be Aware.  I tend to survive in a dense clouded life.  I cannot see through the trees most days, and with that how can I see myself clearly, how can I see to help others? 

Not only to open my eyes, but to live according to what I’ve been awaken to…to act on what needs to be done.  To be open to living life in a way that demands my attention on myself, and the souls around me, then selflessly acting to change, or to just help.  The difference in this lifestyle then the one I’ve been so easily entangled is by no means a small step…it more like a running dash into a forced muscled leap.  To which I may add that I am not athletic to anyone’s standards.

 “Be strong and courageous.  Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

This past Sunday one of our elders spoke about finding your identity in the good news of Jesus, which leads to our calling, then to live that out missionally.  I could’ve been the only person in the room, how amazing that the Creator of everything, our Covenant God speaks to us right into the depth of our struggle, into the core of who we are.

Praise explodes in this truth, and this song (as well as the verse in Joshua) is my heartpounds to the True Beauty, He Who Saves, our Immanuel. 

For the Beauty of the Earth
by Folliott S. Pierpoint

For the beauty of the earth, for the glory of the skies, for the love which from our birth over and around us lies.  For the beauty of each hour of the day of the night, hill and vale, and tree and flower, sun and moon, and stars of light.  For the joy of ear and eye, for the heart and mind’s delight, for the mystic harmony, linking sense to sound and sight.  For the joy of human love, brother, sister parent, child, friends on earth and friends above, for all gentle thoughts and mild.  For thy church, that evermore lifteth holy hands above, offering up on every shore her pure sacrifice of love.  For thyself, best Gift Devine, to the world so freely given, for that great, great love of thine, peace of earth, and joy in heaven.  Lord of all, to thee we raise this our hymn of grateful praise.

 I quietly whisper my praises, as incense rises to heaven…thank you Lord, thank you LORD.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Let's Begin At The Beginning

I believe we are in the last 3 days of our last hot weather before cool sets in for good, and cold is just a stroll down the block.  These next three days will seem like an eternity to me.  I have forgotten how to dress for warm weather, my mind tries to remember what I've been wearing for the past 5 months, but it comes up with nothing.  My thoughts are rooted in leggings, boots, and long sleeves.  I can think of nothing else in my closet that is less worthy.

There are a few projects that Husband has done that I haven't posted.  There is just one of mind.  BUT!  With that said, I am getting my act together. So, let me begin with the beginning...(Quiet Man reference, seriously watch it)...I've been getting up before the sunrise, and getting in some fun exercise before those golden beams hit our blades of brown grass.  I've lost 2 lbs, and its only been a week.  Our house has stayed pretty clean, the bed has been made everyday, and laundry isn't piling up.  God has helped me do this, I know I can not do it on my own...I've got the past to prove it.

I will show you my one DIY that I've accomplished...there is still one that has been on the books for too long, maybe this weekend (maybe not)...someday it will get done. Husband got me a journal that says "Things I Was Supposed to do Yesterday That I Will Do Tomorrow" fitting of me.  I laughed and smiled when he showed it to me.  I have yet to use it...surprise surprise.

Anyway!  My amazing brother in law and sister in law got me this amazing vintage owl cookie jar for Christmas last year.  I LOVED it!  It was perfect, classy, artistic but not too modern, with a glaze of mostly white with wisps of tan.  I put my coffee beans in it, so I used it everyday.  Of course, with using something breakable everyday it ups your chances of actually breaking it...which happened.  My elbow hit the owl head lid and it went flying to the floor.  I stood there in shock, Husband saw the whole thing.  I tried to salvage it, but I couldn't.  It was a sad day in my household.  The good news is that I had another Owl Cookie Jar that Husband had got for me at an antique place our first year of marriage.  It is a very cute owl, its holding a book, and has some round Harry Potter-looking glasses on.  Its olive green, orange, yellow, and brown.  I'm guessing it was made in the 70s.  I have a good friend who loves this design era, but I'm not a huge fan.  I love a lot of light, and pale colors, with some pops of bright.  So this Owl needed to be upgraded to my design.  So...I spray painted it white. And it came out better than I imagined!

Before.  Cute but not my fav colors (don't mind the tp, its an old pic) haa!

After.  Still cute and more my style!

Bring on the cable-knit leggings!  Yeah!! 

Thursday, July 4, 2013

A Living Life

I'm always saying to myself that if I forget to live, life may pass me by.  That is a fear of mine, that I focus to much on what should be done that I dismiss what God has already completed.  The balance between keeping house and keeping a home is something I always struggle with.  I do not know how my sister does it.  I do not envy her, I adore her.  She simply is just a wonderful woman.  She sees beauty in things that others are blind to.  She sees potential in objects that others tear down.  She is an artist in her own merit, although sometimes I think she doesn't see the beauty, potential, and artistry in herself...and she is all those things and more.  I'm sure you also have people in your life that inspire you to become more of who God created you to be.  She is one of those people in my life.  Husband is another.  My brother is one more.  These people are so different, but they have drive...and it gives me strength in my wings when my life's dreams feel too heavy.

I love this blog, and I have not been acting like it.  I've let life get in the way, I've let myself get in the well as excuses, self pity, lack of commitment, laziness, and pure frustration have all had their part in the past months.  

The good news is that I'm writing today, and I have a hope in my heart that I will write again sooner than later.  

This is a simple picture.  Its a picture of my kitchen window sill.  All of these glasses cost me only 50  And I've only taken a picture of half of them.  God is good.  I've thought about filling a lot of these, and some of them are...but I can't get past the beauty of their simplicity.  

Life has been frustrating.  I could go into detail, but I will not.  Husband has been my anchor.  He has been my helper.  My sanity.  My reality.  My ...everything I needed in every moment.  All husbands have a tall order: to love their wives as Christ loves His church...and I want to say that in these days after days of raw frustration on my end...Husband has done just that.  Loved me like Christ.  It humbles me, it keeps me going, it changes me to become more like Christ myself.  

...And that is what a 'living' life is all about.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Bluegrass in the Background

My parents were in town.  I hadn't seen them for almost a year.  Everyday was wonderful, and it felt like sunshine and blackberry jam.  My parents love have no idea how much my heart grows each time I hear them say how thankful they are for him.  I dreamed of such things...and they are now my reality.  God still blesses his prodigal children...I am living proof.

Life has been really good.  Busy, yet calm, beautiful weather and fantastic weekends.  I pray that God leads me to blog more when life is sweet tea and bluegrass playing in the background.  So much of my words were sad and lonely, and now that God has healed me and showered His mercy and grace...I need to praise Him in these days of bright floral patterns and old farmer sinks.  He deserves my prayers with tears and my praise with laughter.  He deserves all of my words, for He recreated the soul that they flow from.

Currently, Husband and I are in our newly painted dining room.  He is playing his acoustic guitar, and Tuggb is laying at his feet, while Soren is asleep on a pillow in the next room.  I have no idea were Scout is...she gets a little crazy around this time of night.  I'm just taking it all in.  Summer is almost here.  With its pink lemonade and the smell of miracle grow in the breeze.  I'll tell y'all right now...if you miss the small things in will not understand any big thing this world has to offer.

I'm still dreaming of that someday country life.  With more chickens, children running through tall grass, and my favorite pair of cowgirl boots at the back door.  All the while, these days with in the city with loud city noises and not so sweet air at times...I will not wish them away for anything.  Because they were gifted to us, by the Almighty God.  

I want to send out a huge thanks to my parents.  Poppie and Ma Mere, you have once again shown more love and support that leaves me with an ache in my heart, for you are once again 11 hours away.  I love that you love our home.  It brings me such joy to see you comfortable here.  It brings me such pure happiness that you love our style.  Poppie, I love that you love Soren and talk about him more than me sometimes.  Ma Mere, I love that I can still smell your "sweet mom smell" here in our house.  Thank you for all that you did for Husband and I.  Thank you for spending time with our family.  Thank you for loving us so deeply.

Thank you for these perfect antique egg baskets. I love them more every day.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Remember and Revive

Today is a wonderful day.  It’s not because the sun is out, or because our coop is finished and beautiful.  It’s not because Husband and I got so many projects started and almost completed this past weekend.  It’s not because I was able to purchase trim for a fantastic DIY to come, or that Husband and I got to take some time to just chill out, hang out, and watch movies together.  It’s because God gave me another day.  It’s because He arranged these wonderful people and things in my life.  He provided us a beautiful home.  He gifted us with the ability to love home improvements.  God has overflowed my life with blessings. 

I’m an emotional woman.  I am also a woman who finds connections with just about everything, and with that I become that much more attached or enchanted.  This can sometimes be to a fault, and there is a balance that has to be kept.  I’ve got a big heart for Beauty, but it’s not earthly beauty that moves me to my core.  It’s the Beauty that is sometimes hidden in the dark moments in our lives.  It’s the Beauty that has been new, and is now old.  Beauty that comes from God our Creator; and He lets me see, and I become connected and He gives me a heart to admire and I hide its treasure in my eyes. 

I am blessed because my God is The Great I AM.  He is Able, and He never stopped pursuing me when I continued to run from Him.  In my pain and in my suffering…His Beauty comforted me.  He never left me.  When I could not feel His Joy in my heart, I could see His Love through the sun-lit leaves and feel His Presence in the wind. When I felt like I had no tears left to cry, I felt His heartache in the rain.  

He never left me.  He taught me to Trust again, and at times I have forgotten how…He lets me remember. 

Photo Credit: Willow Lane Photography

"We praise Thee, Oh God!  For Thy Spirit of light, who hath shown us our Savior, And scattered our night.  Hallelujah!  Thine the glory.  Hallelujah! Amen.  Hallelujah!  Thine the glory.  Revive us again.  All glory and praise, To the God of all grace, Who hast brought us, and sought us, And guided our ways.  Hallelujah!  Thine the glory.  Hallelujah!  Amen.  Hallelujah!  Thine the glory.  Revive us again."

Friday, April 19, 2013

Growing Up Something Fierce

I am crazy about Saturdays…I’m sure you can tell.  It seems that when it’s not about Husband or springtime, it’s about Saturdays.  And yes, the Quiet Man is on as background noise while I’m posting this.  I wanted to post something simple, short, and wonderful.  Our chickens are growing up something fierce!  This morning Peaches jump/flew out of their pen!  I think she actually got scared and jumped on Benedict, then leaped onto the edge of their pen…but still.

You know what just happened?  I got a “Freeze Alert” on my phone through the weather app I have.  It was 70 degrees yesterday…oh Midwest, you surprise me as always. 


These pictures are from last weekend.  The sun should come out again tomorrow, so Husband and I will work on the coop again.  It has rained every day since last Sunday.  We will be glad to be outside tomorrow, with sunshine; even though it will be a little chilly…at least there will be plenty of sunshine.

Bacon is not camera shy, and Benedict is.  Scotch moves around too much to get a really good photo, and Peaches is somewhere in the middle of all of those.  I am surprised they are still ‘cute’ to me.  I thought that by now they would look more like chickens and less like baby chicks.  Their feathers are becoming so beautiful.

I feel like this Saturday will be crazy, maybe even eventful.  I'm not sure really why, but when I was driving home today the sun came out!...Yeah!...Then while the sun was out it started was strange.  The sun-lit rain was very beautiful, it sparkled all the way down.  Maybe I feel this way because today was really out of my routine.  Husband's schedule was switched around, then the weather was wacky..and then it took me an hour at the grocery store just to pick up 5 items.  C.r.a.z.y.

Oh, good news...I re-potted my plants the right way.  And they are happy plowers. 

Happy Friday!!!