Friday, June 26, 2015

Created to be Creative

Even as I write this, I’m rolling my eyes at myself.  Sharing something that I don’t have a full grasp on always makes me want to save it for later, save it until I really know what I’m talking about, save it until it’s safe, save it until its ready…save it until I’m ready.  That’s probably why I do not write every day, and why I have so many dreams and have put so little into action.  Let me be completely honest, that IS why I drag my feet on just about everything in my life.  My drive…I can hear my husband lovingly saying ‘What drive?’…it is in a constant state of being in park.  A fear of failure causes me to slam on the breaks as soon as I get any kind of momentum going.  

For a long time I even struggled with not creating at all, not being able to decide on the wrong and right purposes of it.  I saw creativity in light of adding to an already fattened world of materialism.  I saw style through the lens of attaining worldly goods.  I saw design as not being content with what I already have.  Let me first say that these are still possible…and I will always be tempted to stray into these self-centered areas if I lose sight of one truth…God is Supreme Maker.  He created us in His image, and therefore because He created us, we in turn…create.  Our creativity gets out of line, whenever it stops before flowing to the rightful praise and honor of Creator God.  When we desire style and design for our own selfish pleasure, to puff up our own ego, to shove our talents/gifts/wealth at our neighbors in a heart of arrogance…creativity has become foolishly dark and empty.  I am just beginning to set this truth in my heart and mind.  Like I said before, I was being poisoned in lies for a long time.  I am just beginning to see that it’s okay to create, and to look at pretty things…only if I can look through the beauty to The One Who Is Beauty.  When in wisdom, to purchase or make my home for the enjoyment, function, design, style, or benefit for guests turning continual thanks to God the Giver of all things.  I check my heart attitude, and ask myself who will be receiving the final praise (my praise or God’s praise, my glory or God’s glory).   If both do not line up to Gospel centered living, then I go no further, ask for forgiveness, and rest in grace. 

It’s amazing to me that God delights in our creativity.  Someone may need to hear this…God delights in your creativity.  I need to hear that God delights in my creativity.  In Exodus, the LORD filled certain men with the Spirit of God to have the ability, intelligence, knowledge, and all craftsmanship to devise artistic designs of the Tabernacle.  (Exodus 31:1-11)  Have you tried to read the details of the Tabernacle?  It is extraordinary!  God is the First and Greatest Artist (Genesis 1:1) 


The next step in this blessed journey is for me to find out what Jesus has designed for me to design, what He has called me to create.  In the meantime, I search for Who He Is through His Word, and see glimpses of His Beauty in the creative things He has given.

Snip-its of my style

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

talking to my heart

These past couple weeks have been emotional and thought provoking, the kind that you need to sit down and just digest what is going on (I’m a processor so this is important for me).  In these times, I need those moments to regroup, re-center, remind, recall, and most of all…rejoice.  In these moments I cannot trust my own mind or heart until I speak biblical truths first.  This may seem silly, I grew up going to church…but there are times, times like the past two weeks when I have to trust that the Spirit mutters words to The Father that are incomprehensible to others, and sometimes I can’t put into words.  I have to lay myself down, and realize that I cannot do this.  Putting my faith and trust in The One who holds everyone and everything together (Colossians 1:17), a Savior who is Able, Willing, and Loving in such a way that is Good…even when I can’t make out His plan. 

My husband and I are doing some ‘home renovations’.  We live in a cute old house that I actually adore, and thank God for often.  It was really exciting the first couple days, knocking out dry wall, seeing the room take shape…and then, you see what needs to be fixed before the work continues.  Your eyes are opened to the bad, you can’t escape it, and you need to take care of it before you can move ahead with your design plan.  You realize that you were living in a place that you thought was safe, but those old electrical wires that were openly dangling in the hidden walls could have caused something awful.  Living in ignorance is bliss until you realize that ignorance of a problem can cause destruction.  A glorious moment of clarity happened yesterday as my husband and I came to the agreement that we were grateful for the set back.  We were grateful that we became aware of what needed to be repaired.  I am not anxious, but relieved.  If you know me, you would realize that God was working something in my life because being thankful instead of worried is not something that does not happen without Supernatural involvement.  What makes this different than any other misadventure or fear in my life?  I know the problem will be fixed and our lives and our home will be much better off.  I invite the knowledge of bad because I trust in the outcome of good.  “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 

I want you to know that even though by Grace through Jesus I was able to connect this life experience with the truth of the Gospel, actually living it out mentally from the small (sometimes thought of insignificant) details to the large life altering changes…I cannot do this one my own.  I pray, Lord, help me make this a reality of faith, help me trust your plan, help me live in a Kingdom mindset while living the life you’ve blessed me with.  One of the Wondrous things about God is that He cares about and knows the light to heavy circumstances in our lives.  He knows the number of hairs on our head (Matthew 10:30), dresses the lilies the field (Matthew 6:28-29), feeds the birds of the air (Matthew 6:26)…how much more does He Know, Care, and Provide?  Daily trusting in Him, moment by moment Trusting Him.  Faith that no matter what may come, what bad my eyes will see, what knowledge sets-back plans…those will work for my good, for His Good.  I will be relieved when they are fixed.  I will find joy when the design is revealed. 


My friend told me this morning that acknowledging our weakness is a good thing.  We acknowledge our defeat, we acknowledge that we are not in control, and we acknowledge that we are not God.  Praise be to the LORD that He is Almighty God!  For when we are weak, He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9).  For when we lack faith, He remains Faithful (2 Timothy 2:13).  For when we lose our grip, His grasp is Forever Firm (John 10:29).  For in our sin, He died, so that we may have life in Him (1 Peter 2:24).  It’s a Beautiful picture of design.  Lord, let my hope, thankfulness, and joy find rest in your Grace, Truth, and Life.  

Find joy, find rest, find hope in You Jesus the Founder and Perfecter of my faith (Hebrews 12:2). 

Thursday, June 18, 2015

O God, out dream me again

I know I am not the only women that has dreamed, and felt that inner heartbeat and desire for a certain calling.  I have had a couple of different ‘big’ dreams during my Christian life.  It is a strange thing, when you mix a heart’s desire with obedience to the plans that have been set before us from the One Who Sets Everything in its place.  I can think of two things that I have prayed more about in my life than any other.  First dream being, for a man to love me in such a way that fuels fairy tales and points to a much Greater Love.  Second being, my purpose in life, in other words, asking God what He has designed for me to do personally, so that I can obey Him and do it.  We desire to have purpose because God designed us for a purpose.  He is a detailed Maker of Heaven and Earth.  He is All Knowing, and Ever Present.  He is also Sovereign.  He is Completely Able.  He has never failed.  He is Supremely Good.  He has a Perfect Love. 

Why do I doubt, and struggle in times of trusting Him?

The same heart that desires to obey Him, is the same heart that desires to take matters into my own hands.  I’m currently reading a book called: The Gospel Centered Woman by Wendy Alsup.  We have been marred by sin, and our purpose and design has been effected.  Through Christ alone, is our design realigned, we have been redeemed through the cross of Jesus Christ and hope and grace through His Resurrection.  When my marred heart misplaces this Truth…my own hands forget how they were made and reach for something much, much less.

I love reading other blogs.  ‘Popular’ blogs actually.  One thing I love the most is going to their first post, and reading the beginning of their journey.  I did this yesterday, and found so much rest and grace.  They are just like me, and through their dependence on God, their obedience to do small daily living while still dreaming of something much bigger…He Acted, and lives where changed.  It is absolutely Beautiful.

God has always proved Himself Worthy, from the beginning, from times of old.  There is not bondage to His Yolk, but Freedom in His Plans, His Direction, and His Placement. 


Psalm 25 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
Prayer for Protection, Guidance and Pardon.

A Psalm of David.
25 To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
O my God, in You I trust,
Do not let me be ashamed;
Do not let my enemies exult over me.
Indeed, none of those who wait for You will be ashamed;
Those who deal treacherously without cause will be ashamed.
Make me know Your ways, O Lord;
Teach me Your paths.
Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
For You I wait all the day.
Remember, O Lord, Your compassion and Your lovingkindnesses,
For they have been from of old.
Do not remember the sins of my youth or my transgressions;
According to Your lovingkindness remember me,
For Your goodness’ sake, O Lord.
Good and upright is the Lord;
Therefore He instructs sinners in the way.
He leads the humble in justice,
And He teaches the humble His way.
10 All the paths of the Lord are lovingkindness and truth
To those who keep His covenant and His testimonies.
11 For Your name’s sake, O Lord,
Pardon my iniquity, for it is great.
12 Who is the man who fears the Lord?
He will instruct him in the way he should choose.
13 His soul will abide in prosperity,
And his descendants will inherit the land.
14 The secret of the Lord is for those who fear Him,
And He will make them know His covenant.
15 My eyes are continually toward the Lord,
For He will pluck my feet out of the net.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
For I am lonely and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart are enlarged;
Bring me out of my distresses.
18 Look upon my affliction and my trouble,
And forgive all my sins.
19 Look upon my enemies, for they are many,
And they hate me with violent hatred.
20 Guard my soul and deliver me;
Do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You.
21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me,
For I wait for You.
22 Redeem Israel, O God,
Out of all his troubles.



Give me grace to not look back, give me love to drive my heart forward, give me wisdom to know your path, and give me faith to keep going.  So be it, Lord Jesus.

Friday, May 22, 2015

Almost 8 Years

I came across this journal entry a week or so ago.  After reading, I wanted to re-share, because God has been so very Good to me.  He has lavished me in such Grace and with such Mercy…I have to give Him praise, glory, and honor! 

“For What It's Worth – June 10, 2007

I've never believed in "blogging", it seems to get so many people in trouble. But when you think of it...it's seems quite perfect. You don't have to just call your one best friend to tell what's on your heart of hearts, but in a way you can share it with whoever is willing enough to read your heart. So, I guess that's all who you need to tell...right? I've always loved the mystery of life. Because I am such a dreamer, and I believe in the One High God, the answers are endless and anything is possible. But, I am afraid that even though I love adventure, and being pushed to take risks, at night, I always wonder....what really am I doing here? Not really in the world, but what ‘in my life now’…what am I doing. A college grad, jobless, single, living with mom and dad...this mystery was something I thought would be much better and more radiant. I begin to think if I missed something, wondering if I made some wrong turn. What really do I want out of life? For once I know "who" I am, and quite frankly I like who that is...but I still feel....clueless. Don't get me wrong, I believe and trust God that He knows what He's doing and I do not have a big problem surrendering to Him b/c His plan is perfect, and even though I'm 22, I have learned that I am not. I feel as though I am blind to the real reason for my place. I know I am not the only one, and seriously, it could be much worse. Even though my thinking is selfish, you have to fix yourself before you can fix others. It seems like I am living in other people’s lives. Watching them live, and being paralyzed in mine. I truly do hate "waiting" on the next step. I have studied that, but to my surprise I have not yet learned the application. I mean, what mindset are you supposed to take...just continue to live w/o thinking/acting like nothing has changed, throw away the old life continue with the new while forgetting everything, or being caught between the old life and new, in complete confusion and cluelessness. It's obvious which one I have chosen. You'd think that over two years of prayers I would have some clue...but only the scenery has changed...nothing else. Quite sad really. Maybe that's the answer...nothings happened, nothing ever will...but the hope is still lit inside me...how do you blow it out? What plan of action do you take? Which road, pathway, street is the right one? It will be given to you. Well, at least I know one thing, the time for me to know what to do is not this day. My fear is that my heart is incapable to being loved in a romantic way. That no one wants to really know me. I know every girl in the world has that fear, and some of those fears are reality for them. I feel that I have so much to give, so much to offer, so much to love, but is no one willing to take the time, make the choice, and live the commitment? Time will tell. I am not fearful of the future, it's just getting from point-a to point-b that will be hard. "O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld you power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you."(Psalms 63:1-3) I find rest in this...."The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalms 34:17-18) Thank you God.”

So…what am I doing now?  Almost 8 years later? 

I am still a college grad.
I have a great job.
I am happily married to the man who is better than my dreams.
I am living in a cute house with my handsome, funny, driven, godly man.

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” – Ephesians 3:20-21

I wondered if I made a wrong turn?

“The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.” – Proverbs 16:9

“For a people shall dwell in Zion, in Jerusalem; you shall weep no more.  He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry.  As soon as he hears it, he answers you.  And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher.  And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.” 
– Isaiah 30:19-21

What do I want out of life?

Currently, they are not material things, or even certain dreams I once had.  Truth be told, I desire to be Spirit-filled, to have a strong faith, to have godly wisdom, and to have steadfast love.  Only Jesus can give these things, I cannot get them myself…but the gospel is: He gives Himself.  Praise God to Whom All Blessings Flow! 

“I have been crucified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.  And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” – Galatians 2:20

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” – James 1:5

“And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” – Ephesians 5:2

I also stated ‘fix yourself before you can fix others’, which I believe to be completely foolish.  I cannot fix myself apart from Christ, I also cannot fix others apart from Christ.  I cannot do anything without Christ working in me and through me.  We are all broken, and we are all in need of a Savior.  In our brokenness and sin, He uses us…still.  Not because of anything we have done, or will do…but because Christ has done and continues to do.  Praise the Lord O My Soul! 

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ – by grace you have been saved – and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.  For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” – Ephesians 2:4-10

“Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.” – Hebrews 13:20-21

What mindset are we to take?

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things that are above, not things that are on earth.” – Colossians 3:1-2

I feared that no one would love me, no one would want me, and no one would want to know me.  I thought that I had so much to offer in means of ‘love’, and that I would never have the chance to know a romantic love that our world sets half way in reality and half way in fairy-tales.  How ironic is it that God answered my prayers beyond what I dreamed, and yet the only fault I find is that I struggle with trust, submission, and respect…I struggle with loving well.  Lord God, forgive me, and give me a heart of steadfast love.  

“Is anything too hard for the LORD?” – Genesis 18:14a

“Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh.  Is anything too hard for me?” – Jeremiah 32:27

“It is the LORD who goes before you.  He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you.  Do not fear or be dismayed.” – Deuteronomy 31:8

“Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.” – Proverbs 3:3

...

Almost 8 years.  How can I not praise The One Who not only saved me from sin and death, brought me into newness of life, and also saves me daily, hourly, every moment interceding for me?!  “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.” – Psalms 19:14

And even the finding of old words, old hurts, old dreams, old fears, old hopes, and thinking of lessons learned and scripture that life is rooted in…it is not me, but Christ.  “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” – John 14:26


All Praise, Glory, Honor, Blessing, Thanksgiving, and Everything be Yours Eternal Father God, King Jesus Christ,  and Helper Holy Spirit.  So be it!

Friday, May 15, 2015

Endure.

Photo Credit: Justin L. Fowler/The State Journal-Register 
Hebrews 12 English Standard Version (ESV)

Jesus, Founder and Perfecter of Our Faith
12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Do Not Grow Weary
3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. 4 In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
    nor be weary when reproved by him.
6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
    and chastises every son whom he receives.”

7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
12 Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. 14 Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; 16 that no one is sexually immoral or unholy like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal. 17 For you know that afterward, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no chance to repent, though he sought it with tears.


This is a picture of one of my friends, one of my sisters in Christ.  She is a beautiful young woman, and I have much to learn from her.  By the way, this was after she ran her best time…personal record.  

I am not an athlete.  These are easy words for me to say, I know that.  I do not have to think hard about that statement, the people who know me the best in this world also know that I am not an athlete.  I do not have a competitor spirit.  I do not always desire to win.  I do not have a driven mindset, or action lifestyle.  I run funny, and can jump less than an inch of the ground (when I’m trying really hard to jump high)…True Story.  I was a volleyball player when I was in 7th & 8th grade.  I was a starter if you can believe it or not, ask me if I played in any of our Regional games…Nope…sat on the bench while the better junior varsity players took my place.  I tried out for cheer-leading a couple of times, didn't make it because I couldn't do a back-hand-spring…and possibly because my cheers where really awkward.  HAA!  Seriously, you can ask my sister-in-law.  I still remember bits and pieces from my routine and I showed her one time.  The look on her face was phenomenal.  She was a fantastic cheerleader when she was in school.  She runs really well.  She is driven, she’s a competitor.  My sister-in-law is an athlete.

I love the Bible.  I love His Word.  It’s absolutely perfect, enduring, and completely TRUE.  

“Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law of the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.  For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished.” 
-Matthew 5:17-18

We as people are all woven completely different, distinct, special, and yet…we all have qualities that make us people.  We all were created by the same Creator.  We as people are going to have some similarities.  Meditate on that truth for a bit, the LORD is mind boggling…there are verses on that truth too, and those are also good to meditate on when you are feeling prideful and selfish.  Watch out for it, your face will hit the floor.  With all that being said, Hebrews 12:1-17 have been hard for me to really sink into and digest.  I get it, 'knowledge wise'…I understand the definition of athleticism, but I come from a place currently that: it doesn't go “boom” in my spirit.  I am an artist.  I think creative thoughts.  I see visual connections.  I understand emotional pieces of artistic display.  Meaning…a photograph of athleticism...I saw this picture and my spirit went “boom” and this verse finally takes root and nourishes parts of my souls soil that were dry and desperate.  Just look at it for a minute and reflect on the verses of Hebrews 12.  

12 Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. 

My friend is dirty.  She is exhausted.  She is wet from sweat and rain.  She is struggling to stand.  Her body is weakened, so much so, that a fellow traveler was holding some of her weight for her.  Such is the body of faith, Amen?!  During these times I am so blessed, and I shout out a praise of thanksgiving to God for my church family, those gospel believing people who struggle in sin everyday just like me, and call out Gospel truths day in and day out.  Praise the LORD for the body of faith I have been placed!  

I love the Gospel.  I can truly say that now.  You know why?  I was/am disciplined by my Father, THE Father.  I was/am chastised by my Father, THE Father of Heaven and Earth.  It hurts, it's painful, there are times I am weary, and my heart is faint, but I endured because of Christ.  I endured because Christ lives in me.  I endured through the active Spirit that was given to me through Christ by God.  Absolutely Amazing.  I am stronger now.  I am happier now.  I will continue to grow stronger and happier.  I have made this way in my life straight so that when I see other brother and sisters in Christ walking down the same road, broken and lame, I can help them not stumble because Christ got me through this same road…I can attest that we have Hope down that road, I can show them scriptures that helped me, I help weave them through the emotions and pray for them more earnestly through Christ in me.  You know what else is amazing…the road I traveled has also been made straight by others that helped me when I was traveling down it.  If you look back to the previous chapter in Hebrews…the writer does the same thing.  He announces many that have travel the road, and came out victorious through Christ and His faithfulness set in us.  Glory to God on High!  The most important thing about my life now from my life before this last time of discipline, is that my faith is stronger and my love, obedience, belief, actions, and prayers are richer, deeper, and more potent.  Let all glory, praise, and honor be Christ and Christ’s alone.  For He is Faithful, Always.

“The saying is trustworthy, for: If we have died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him; if we deny him, he will also deny us; if we are faithless; he remains faithful – for he cannot deny himself.” 2 Timothy 2:11-13

Monday, January 12, 2015

Amen!

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”  Ephesians 3:20-21

Now – current, right now, today, this second, this hour, at the present. 

Able – completely able, capable, easy, ready, smart, strong

Far/More – greatly/extra, noticeably/higher, remarkably/enhanced, substantially/exceeding, well/Increased

Abundantly – ample, bountiful, generous, rich, sufficient, abounding, exuberant, filled, lavish

All – complete, entire, full, greatest, outright, utter

Ask - appeal, beg, call for, claim, demand, order, plead, request, seek, urge, crave, knock, pray

Think – consider, feel, guess, see, understand, conclude, hold, imagine, project, vision

According to – conforming to, in agreement with, in keeping with, in line with, just as

Power at work within us!

Him be glory!

In Christ Jesus!

This is my memory verse for the week, and I can’t get over the depth of what this verse proclaims.  My hope, joy, and awe is restored each time I read it.  This verse is a verse that gives me hope of a calling, a hope in the purpose He has for my life.  It shatters my fears.  It refocuses my faith.  It relaxes my anxiety. 

This verse meets you were you are at in life, wherever you are at.  The fact that God dreams bigger than we can dream, and not only that…but He is able to put it into reality.  Just take a few seconds to let that sink in.  His is Completely ABLE.  Able to do more, not just more but far more, not just far more but abundantly far more.  GLORY TO HIS NAME!  Not only is He Able, but what He is able to do is not according to ‘us’, or ‘what we've done’, or ‘how many years we've been a Christian’, or ‘how many verses we have memorized’, or ‘how many Sundays we've been to church’, or ‘how much we have read the bible’…not according to us at all…BUT According to the Power at work within us!  According to His Grace, His Mercy, His Goodness, His Righteousness, His Power, His Glory, His Beauty, His Knowledge, His Truth, His Timing…according to His Unlimited Able-ness.

Breathe.

Thank you Jesus, my words will never be enough praise for who you Are.  My voice will never be enough praise for what You have done, are doing, and will do. 


To Him be Glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, then, now, and forever. Amen. So be it.  It is so.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Movement in my Soul


The first verse I ever memorized is Psalms 63:1-3.  My roommate in college is actually the reason why I memorized this verse.  I never gave much thought to the reason why I should memorize, all I knew is that my roommate loved it, and no matter where we were, we were memorizing.  Car ride to the grocery store: memorize.  At a coffee shop: memorize.  Sitting in our dorm room: memorize.  Waiting for our next class: memorize.  In a long line at the mall:  memorize.  Caught in traffic:  memorize.  On our way to church: memorize.  There is a good reason she became my mentor while I was in school, she had a heart for God's Word, and wanted so much to be apart of it, to know it, to understand it, to call it out from memory.  Even though I memorized this verse 12 years ago, I still remember it.  Its in my heart, its in my memory.  Its  apart of my story.  

"O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.  So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory.  Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you."

King David wrote this, while he was in the wilderness.  He knew that God has anointed him the next king, but yet he waited for years until the time came form him to take his place.  How deep that rings in my soul.  

His words are so powerful.  Acknowledging that God is his God, that he puts nothing above God, his faith is in the God of Israel.  Earnestly, Thirsts, Faints, Beholding, Steadfast, Better than life...those are beautiful and powerful words, they carry such weight, such depth.  

This verse is a verse that gives hope, but it also humbles me.  How many days have gone by in my life that I have not earnestly sought after God...too many.  Even now, is my heart really earnestly seeking God?  My mind knows that His steadfast love is better than life, and I have seen glimpses of his power and glory; and yet I seek Him when it seems to fit in my own time frame.  Oh, I am indeed a sinner.  

Today, Jesus again pursed me.  Woke me up, asked me once again to continue the journey of faith.  and I answered...because Your Steadfast Love is better than life, my lips will praise You.

I still feel a movement in my soul, that change is coming.  I'm going to stop trying to guess what it is, and life by faith and not by sight.  Father God, lead me in your Words, reveal to me your Ways so that I may follow them accordingly.

I love You.

Your Daughter,
Rae Angeline