I grew up accepting a way of life that is uncommon to man. Others do not understand it, and are passionately against such talk. I find those lives stifling, just thinking about them leaves me gasping for clear and clean air. I thought settling down was the American Dream that I wanted, but it has not been a real heart’s desire, at least not here. Is my love for Beauty to vast to be contained in one location? Is this God moving my desires, or myself wanting to escape current living? Prayer and Scriptures are the only answer to that specific question, a Knowledge that is only given by One…how Merciful and Gracious He is to be such a Giver.
I also have a heart of a rebellious nature. Once I’ve been told and confined by a man’s word, my first reaction is sinful and haughty. How dare you try to control me and tell me what I can and cannot do, you are not my God nor my husband, you are a sinful being…prideful, just like me. I will not follow you. I will not obey your selfish demands. Honor is not the same as Obedience, and we are no longer children. I have sinned against you in anger, bitterness, distaste, and even hatred at times…and I am sorry. I know that our sins do not outweigh each other’s. I continue to pray for your brokenness and humility, as well as for my eyes to see you as Christ sees you.
Husband is…a better man than I ever thought or imagined. He remains to keep me in line and continues to show me how to be not just a better person, but a better daughter of Christ. He has changed for the greater Good. I have much to learn from him. It is easy for me to respect him, and my love for him is unrelenting and it increases with every day that passes.
I have much to learn.
Whatever happens dear Jesus, let me always follow you. Let Your Will be done in my life, I beg You.
Below are my notes from one of my favorite teachers: Darrin Patrick
Teaching on Ephesians 6:1-4
Definition of Family: “A family is a covenant community where worship and learning happens in the context of unconditional love.”
Family is a covenant community established by God, and should have God has its center, so if children leave, or parents leave…God is still the root.
But as a parent the goal as the parent toward the child is not interdependence or codependence, its literally to prepare the child to live without you, you are training the child to not need you. You are literally grooming, teaching and instructing that child to one day live without you and live outside of your care. And parents are to create a culture of unconditional love where the child grows up and says, “I’ve got my theology straight because of Mom and Dad, I figured out how to navigate life, I know how to love people more than myself, I’m ready, I’m going out.” The biblical view of family is radically different than the old school view of families. The old views where was ownership, control, and power, Dad was king, dad was dictator, and could do whatever he wanted to do. The new school parenting freedom, expression, exploration…set them up to find their own way. Scripture challenges both of these views. Dad’s don’t’ provoke, exasperate them, and don’t push them away. Parents need to bring them up, raising them up, discipline, progressively, instruction, teaching them something…why because there is a LORD. Dad, Mom…it is your responsibility to pastor you children. The purpose then as we love our kids, as we teach and instruct them, not in a legality way, not in a condemning way, atmosphere of unconditional love…the purpose is then the child can grow up and can be a very godly adult, not just a good adult, but an adult that follows Jesus. You want your child to be wise, you want your child to live without you.
Children is a word for little child, under your parents care. While you are under your parents care you obey them. The idea for a little child, while they are paying for you, you obey them. However once you transition out of that dependence you honor them. That’s why in the 10 commandments it just says ‘honor’ not obey. That’s the main function that we see in the scripture, of adult children not to obey but to honor. Doesn’t not command affection. Doesn’t say confided in, it doesn’t say trust? It says honor, why does it say that? Because the relationship between an adult child and parents is very complicated. Very difficult. Very hard. The bible is wise, because God is wise. The main way you relate to your parents is not obedience as an adult child, it is honor. Obedience is not the constant, dependence is not the constant, and honor is. Why does the bible say this, some parents are just evil, they are messed up. Honor them, not admire them, not obey them, and not trust them. The bible says, no matter what they have or have not done, you honor them. The bible gives us a foundation for honor that is really the only way to do it, it’s the only foundation you can build from. Your parents represent authority to you, the authority is a big deal in the bible, we hate authority, and we don’t get the bible. Other cultures get it. We learn about God when we understand authority. Authority: When God uses fallible people to discipline, protect, and teach us. The foundation of honor is accepting that our parents were are first authority to learn.
What does it mean to honor your parents?
Take them seriously. Honor – weight, substance, sometimes glory. If you are under their care, obey them completely unless they tell you to do something that clearly compromises your faith in Christ, and then you may disobey.
Adult child, take them seriously, but you don’t obey them, you honor them.
Find common ground with them. Do it because you want to connect. What do you parents like? What are they into, what are their hobbies?
Ask them for advice. Sometimes you know before you ask that it’s not going to be that helpful, ask anyway. Sometimes God can speak through them. You do not have to obey them.
Listen to your parents struggle. Don’t give them advice, just listen.
Share your joys with them.
You have to forgive them. You forgive because you have been forgiven. Its impossible without God.